Thursday, September 17, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Swimming Against The Current
I grew up in a Bucharian home. I also grew up in an Ashkenaz yeshiva system. The rules at home are different than outside around my friends. The question is, do I leave my family and turn into a full American boy or do I embrace my culture and go old school. Obviously there are too many factors in such a general question but any time one finds themselves between two worlds in regards to status or title or way of life a decision must be made.
Is it better to be the Rabbi or the student, the leader or the follower, the slave or the master, the bread winner or the home maker?
The Sifas Emes writes on parshat chayay Sarah about Eliezer the slave of Avraham. The Sifas Emes discuses the way Eliezer changed from Arur (cursed) to Baruch (blessed).
We all know that Eliezer wanted his own daughter to marry Avraham’s son and we see in the text that not only did he not try to trick or loophole around Avraham’s desire to find a girl from Avraham’s family. He even prayed for the success of finding Rivka.
In the beginning of the story Eliezer is referred to as an Arur and at the end he is referred to as a Baruch. The Sifas Emes teaches us that Eliezer achieved this level by accepting his status as a slave to Avraham. And only after this does he get upgraded to Baruch.
In other words Hashem gives you a status in life, in his case a slave, which you have to live to your best potential. Think of it like a test you must pass in a specific course. Instead of spending all semester searching for a different course or on how you can change the system just study well and you will pass the test. When Hashem sees that you passed the test that he has given you He will raise you to a higher level.
We can use this as a lesson for people that are always trying to achieve the impossible when it really is impossible. For example, a woman cannot expect to go though college then medical school and at the same time get married and have kids and at the same time stay home to raise the kids and tend to the home all before the age of 27. Something has got to give. Same is true for a slave (a true biblical slave). A slave is better off accepting his status and finding happiness in his life than try to find an escape or a change. A student should spend his time learning from his teachers rather than try to outsmart them.
This does not mean we should never strive to grow in a big way. All it means is that you were given a life status for a reason. And to change this status the odds will be against you. You should try to change for the better but leave it at “try”. Do not destroy everything in your life to get it. Just have faith that Hashem knows what is actually better for you. By trusting that you are meant to be in the situation you were given you will be lifted out of the bad status and be rewarded the better one. Even Eliezer asked Avraham for permission, if he cannot find the right girl, that he could marry his daughter to Yitzchak. He tried his way first but when he saw that Avrahams way will work he accepted it with happiness.
So I decided to embrace the parts of my life (and family) that I cannot readily change and grow in the areas that I can. I believe that Hashem will guide me to the ultimate status that I can achieve. More than that is a fight I cannot win so why fight it.
Is it better to be the Rabbi or the student, the leader or the follower, the slave or the master, the bread winner or the home maker?
The Sifas Emes writes on parshat chayay Sarah about Eliezer the slave of Avraham. The Sifas Emes discuses the way Eliezer changed from Arur (cursed) to Baruch (blessed).
We all know that Eliezer wanted his own daughter to marry Avraham’s son and we see in the text that not only did he not try to trick or loophole around Avraham’s desire to find a girl from Avraham’s family. He even prayed for the success of finding Rivka.
In the beginning of the story Eliezer is referred to as an Arur and at the end he is referred to as a Baruch. The Sifas Emes teaches us that Eliezer achieved this level by accepting his status as a slave to Avraham. And only after this does he get upgraded to Baruch.
In other words Hashem gives you a status in life, in his case a slave, which you have to live to your best potential. Think of it like a test you must pass in a specific course. Instead of spending all semester searching for a different course or on how you can change the system just study well and you will pass the test. When Hashem sees that you passed the test that he has given you He will raise you to a higher level.
We can use this as a lesson for people that are always trying to achieve the impossible when it really is impossible. For example, a woman cannot expect to go though college then medical school and at the same time get married and have kids and at the same time stay home to raise the kids and tend to the home all before the age of 27. Something has got to give. Same is true for a slave (a true biblical slave). A slave is better off accepting his status and finding happiness in his life than try to find an escape or a change. A student should spend his time learning from his teachers rather than try to outsmart them.
This does not mean we should never strive to grow in a big way. All it means is that you were given a life status for a reason. And to change this status the odds will be against you. You should try to change for the better but leave it at “try”. Do not destroy everything in your life to get it. Just have faith that Hashem knows what is actually better for you. By trusting that you are meant to be in the situation you were given you will be lifted out of the bad status and be rewarded the better one. Even Eliezer asked Avraham for permission, if he cannot find the right girl, that he could marry his daughter to Yitzchak. He tried his way first but when he saw that Avrahams way will work he accepted it with happiness.
So I decided to embrace the parts of my life (and family) that I cannot readily change and grow in the areas that I can. I believe that Hashem will guide me to the ultimate status that I can achieve. More than that is a fight I cannot win so why fight it.
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